Day 2 – Progress Amongst Chaos
4:30am – Woke up, pulled out my journal and started to get to work. I completed the K10 last night so there is momentum behind me (I scored a 34, no surprises here that things are elevated!)
4:45 am – Today’s goals established:
– Contact psychologists
– Go for a walk
– Do laundry
5am – Made a short-list of the short-listed psychologists to call, any more than three is overwhelming! Fingers crossed I can find someone who is available and affordable.
5:20am – Breakfast time! Peanut butter toast – yum!
5:30am – Go to do my morning meditation and the cat is on my medication cushion, perhaps he is trying to reach enlightenment?
9am – Time to start making calls off the shortened short-list. This is surprisingly nerve wracking.
9:10am – Two voicemails left and one name crossed off as the call failed to connect.
10am – Can’t stop pacing. Mind is racing. Palpitations. Tremors. ARRRRGGHH!!!
11:30am – First call back from voicemails left. Discussion went well and appointment has been made for Thursday! With that one big task done a massive weight feels like it has been taken off my shoulders.
12pm – Lunch time! Two minute noodles (yeah I know, it is not at all an ideal lunch but I am hungry and want food NOW!)
1pm – Still pacing, pacing, pacing. ARRRGH!! If I wasn’t so familiar with these physical symptoms I would think I have a heart condition. I feel way too twitchy to go outside. Need to swap out the 30 minute walk for another activity – yoga, maybe?
2pm – Ok $#%* this! I’m taking one of my when required meds to stop these palpitations. I just want to be able to sit and read, or do something that ISN’T walking up and down the apartment.
2:10pm – Sigh, I can finally sit still and also not have the sensation that my heart is pounding out of my chest. It feels good. Is this what normal feels like?
4:30pm – Time to get in that yoga before Nick comes home from work. Hopefully the stretching and breath awareness will be calming too.
6pm – Nick is home and, as usual lately, I have not gotten dinner ready. Despite the fact he has absolutely no expectation that dinner will be ready (or that I should be making it at all!), I still feel guilty for not having it done. Gender stereotypes much?
7pm – Dinner time! Satay chicken with green beans and brown rice. Drool.
8pm – It’s one hour till my usual bedtime and I am sitting up with Nick playing Borderlands 2. Not quite what the GP had in mind for an ideal sleep routine.
10pm – Finally going to sleep after watching Netflix in bed. Yeah, definitely not what the GP had in mind in terms of a sleep routine.
On Reflection
There is a lot about this day that went well amongst the chaos that was happening in my mind. I achieved my major goal for the day, finding a new psychologist and making an appointment. And despite not going outside to exercise, I DID do 30 minutes of yoga as a substitute instead of just dismissing exercise completely.
Where I am clearly struggling is with my sleep routine. Perhaps if I try using a phone reminder or another trigger to remind me to step away from the screens and get ready for bed I might have better results on day 3? It’s worth giving a try.
Goodbye for now, and I hope to see you tomorrow for day 3 on my journey to wellness.
Growing Strong 