Regular readers of the Coming Back From A Setback series might be wondering where I have gone for about the past week.
Well, I have great news!
The major reason for my absence is that I have been doing a lot of planning and preparation for my return to university placement (I’m back baby!). Unfortunately, this has also meant that I have been lacking in time and the creative mindset to produce valuable work that I consider to be worth publishing.
When I originally took on the idea of writing daily blog posts to track my recovery I was fully prepared for some challenges, but I wasn’t expecting that they would cause content to end as abruptly as it did! It seems that at this stage in my creative process I simply can’t keep with daily blog posts.
Since I am returning to my university placement, I will be once again putting out quality weekly content discussing all things complex trauma and daily living.
Thank you all so much for joining me on this journey, and I hope that you were able to get as much out of it as I did.
I hope to see you all this Sunday for a brand new blog post!
4:30am – Woke up, pulled out my journal and started to get to work. I completed the K10 last night so there is momentum behind me (I scored a 34, no surprises here that things are elevated!)
4:45 am – Today’s goals established:
– Contact psychologists
– Go for a walk
– Do laundry
5am – Made a short-list of the short-listed psychologists to call, any more than three is overwhelming! Fingers crossed I can find someone who is available and affordable.
5:30am – Go to do my morning meditation and the cat is on my medication cushion, perhaps he is trying to reach enlightenment?
9am – Time to start making calls off the shortened short-list. This is surprisingly nerve wracking.
9:10am – Two voicemails left and one name crossed off as the call failed to connect.
10am – Can’t stop pacing. Mind is racing. Palpitations. Tremors. ARRRRGGHH!!!
11:30am – First call back from voicemails left. Discussion went well and appointment has been made for Thursday! With that one big task done a massive weight feels like it has been taken off my shoulders.
12pm – Lunch time! Two minute noodles (yeah I know, it is not at all an ideal lunch but I am hungry and want food NOW!)
1pm – Still pacing, pacing, pacing. ARRRGH!! If I wasn’t so familiar with these physical symptoms I would think I have a heart condition. I feel way too twitchy to go outside. Need to swap out the 30 minute walk for another activity – yoga, maybe?
2pm – Ok $#%* this! I’m taking one of my when required meds to stop these palpitations. I just want to be able to sit and read, or do something that ISN’T walking up and down the apartment.
2:10pm – Sigh, I can finally sit still and also not have the sensation that my heart is pounding out of my chest. It feels good. Is this what normal feels like?
4:30pm – Time to get in that yoga before Nick comes home from work. Hopefully the stretching and breath awareness will be calming too.
6pm – Nick is home and, as usual lately, I have not gotten dinner ready. Despite the fact he has absolutely no expectation that dinner will be ready (or that I should be making it at all!), I still feel guilty for not having it done. Gender stereotypes much?
7pm – Dinner time! Satay chicken with green beans and brown rice. Drool.
8pm – It’s one hour till my usual bedtime and I am sitting up with Nick playing Borderlands 2. Not quite what the GP had in mind for an ideal sleep routine.
10pm – Finally going to sleep after watching Netflix in bed. Yeah, definitely not what the GP had in mind in terms of a sleep routine.
On Reflection
There is a lot about this day that went well amongst the chaos that was happening in my mind. I achieved my major goal for the day, finding a new psychologist and making an appointment. And despite not going outside to exercise, I DID do 30 minutes of yoga as a substitute instead of just dismissing exercise completely.
Where I am clearly struggling is with my sleep routine. Perhaps if I try using a phone reminder or another trigger to remind me to step away from the screens and get ready for bed I might have better results on day 3? It’s worth giving a try.
Goodbye for now, and I hope to see you tomorrow for day 3 on my journey to wellness.
Modern life tends to keep us very busy. So busy in fact that we forget to deal with the little things that sometimes fall through the cracks. Little things like the housekeeping, sorting out our mail, calling your mum – and even your self-care!
These tiny things also tend to build and cause problems down the track. You step out of the shower and find out you have no clean underwear (dammit!). The electricity bill never got paid because it is still sitting in the mailbox (#$%*!). Your mum calls you upset because she thinks you don’t love her anymore (sob). And now you’re feeling burnt out, overwhelmed and unable to cope.
Everyday stress is already hard enough to manage when you DON’T have an elevated baseline! So, how can we manage our lives and keep those stress levels in check? My ideal way to get on top of everything and back on track is the reset day.
What’s a Reset Day?
A reset day is one day out of your week that you put aside purely to restore a sense of order in your life by catching up on all those little things and putting some solid work into your self-care.
Well that sound’s great Danielle, but I don’t have a WHOLE DAY to spend on this stuff. I have a job/family/commitment that takes up all my time! Besides, a whole day JUST FOR ME that has to be selfish, right?
I’m hearing what you’re saying, but consider this – while you might think the act of setting aside time to take care of yourself is selfish, isn’t it in the best interest of your family/work/etc that you are at your best? When we are doing well, it shows, and it benefits the people around us. Just ask them! I’m sure they will agree.
Furthermore, while I call it a reset DAY, you can easily tailor it to meet your needs. Whether it be a reset hour, half-day, day or entire week! What you do and how you do it is entirely up to you. The core of the reset day is about bringing things back to a set baseline of order, whatever that might be for you.
What does a reset day look like? Each person’s reset day varies and reflects where you are at currently. At the moment my typical reset day involves:
– A general clean and tidy of the apartment
– Catching up on any tasks that fell by the wayside
– Taking some valuable me-time where I can mentally refresh
– And where possible, prepare for the upcoming week
While a dedicated reset day can be set to any day in your week, I prefer Sundays as I know I have an opening in my schedule to accommodate it.
What are the benefits? By incorporating a reset day into my life, I have been able to reduce my overall stress throughout the week, while I notice how chaotic life feels if I go without it. I start my Monday’s feeling refreshed, recharged and prepared for the week.
Give yourself permission to have a reset day. You won’t regret it.
Goodbye for now, and remember – keep calm, and grow strong!
Overwhelm is easily the single biggest reason why my path down the road to recovery ends up on temporary hiatus. When we become overwhelmed by everything that is happening around us, our ability to think logically is just gone.
A recent example of overwhelm for me occurred just recently – I missed a deadline. Sounds silly doesn’t it? But that simple act of dropping that tiny ball that was up in the air with countless other balls triggered it all. All of a sudden, I felt like the sky was falling. It’s all coming crashing down. Quick! Brace for emergency landing! We’re going down!!!
So naturally, after I recognised that feeling of overwhelm rising up I went immediately to someone who could help me get some perspective and set out a plan of attack…. Nah! OF COURSE NOT! I actually paced up and down the hallway, went in the foetal position and cried for 20 minutes. Which brings me to my first point:
We don’t act rationally when our emotions are running high
When the fight or flight response is triggered in our brains, our higher order functions switch off. This means our ability to think rationally about what is going on is gone. So, what do you do? This is where grounding exercisescomes into play. Put simply, grounding involves using a number of different techniques to bring us back into the here and now, while also reminding us we are SAFE in the space we are in. I will be doing a full post on grounding exercises in the future, but for now you can find a step-by-step guide on how to do the Five Senses Exercise at the bottom of this post.
Ok, so I have reached a point where I am a bit calmer. The ability to think objectively is starting to come back. What do I do now?
Talk it out and develop a plan
When I managed to get a little bit more rational, the first thing I did was pick up the phone and call someone who was independent from the situation and could give me some solid advice. For me, it was my psychologist. However, this person can be anyone that you feel comfortable letting it all out to and can help you develop a plan of attack to deal with your mini crisis.
Don’t want to talk? That’s ok too! Try writing it all out. Sometimes seeing everything laid out in black and white can be enough to gather ideas and get yourself back on track.
And finally…
Don’t force yourself to be OK right away
When we have these intense moments of overwhelm it is nothing short of exhausting. That surge of adrenaline and the drop off as you become calm again makes you feel like you have run a marathon. You feel physically and emotionally drained and that’s TOTALLY NORMAL!
Do some self-care knowing that you have a plan in place to take care of the situation when you are ready. Self-care means different things to different people and can involve doing something for your physical health, like going for a run, or something for your mental health, like writing in a journal. Self-care can even involve spirituality, such as prayer or meditation. The important thing to remember about self-care is that it is something that improves your overall wellbeing and makes YOU feel good. For me, this meant a long soak in the tub and doing some reading before coming back to deal with the missed deadline.
When we are in the middle of overwhelm it can be very hard, if not impossible, to see the way out. Hopefully with these three points up your sleeve, you can light your way out of the overwhelm fog.
Goodbye for now, and remember – keep calm, and grow strong!
Five Senses Exercise
Take a moment in this time and place to connect with your five senses and surroundings.
List FIVE different things you can SEE
List FOUR different things you can TOUCH
List THREE different things you can HEAR
List TWO different things you can SMELL
List ONE thing you can TASTE
Doing this exercise grounds you in the here and now and sends the message to remind the brain that you’re OK. For the best results, practice this exercise regularly to reduce anxiety and dial back your emotional response.
Growing Strong 